Change The Record: Drake and Partynextdoor – $ome $exy $ongs 4 U

Some artists require no introduction. You most certainly already know who Drake is—a Canadian rapper, bigger than Michael Jackson, more hits than The Beatles, and one of the most humiliated people on Earth—without some kind of fetish for it. 

The centerpiece and the unsympathetic protagonist of the biggest rap beef since Tupac versus Biggie, Drake has seemingly decided it’s time to finally release another full-length album, his first since 2023, “For All the Dogs.” Meanwhile, Kendrick Lamar has kept busy dunking on him with five Grammy wins, and a Superbowl performance dedicated to a song calling Drake a pedophile, punctuated by Drake suing label UMG. 

Astute viewers might be noticing something—I’ve spent my opening paragraphs talking about Drake while this project is actually a collaboration with PartyNextDoor. Fine, let’s mention him, too. PartyNextDoor is a Canadian singer who… exists. His main claim to fame is being friends with Drake and appearing on some of his albums. The reason I didn’t mention him alongside Drake is simply because he has far less historical significance in the music industry. Despite being a collaborative project between him and Drake, he is not the reason people cared about this album and is simply along for the ride.

With all that out of the way, we come to this: a new album by Drake. It’s important to mention that this technically isn’t the first thing Drake released post-beef. He released a bundle of unfinished tracks in 2024, titled “100 Gigs.” Ignored by most critics and fans, the release was so inconsequential that there’s a real chance this is the first time you’ve heard about it. To me, it came off as a panic move—something to hold people over until a bigger release.

This new project is just that, a genuine foot forward post-beef. It’s actually new Drake music, even if he had to get a second name on it because people probably wouldn’t touch it if he were solo. But with all this talk about Drake leading up to the project, I might as well actually talk about the music: It’s extremely boring.

Cool, that was fast. Thanks for coming. But seriously, the music itself is unfortunately this project’s least interesting aspect. Drake has been resting on his laurels for so long that he’s practically hibernating at this point, with pretty much every new album being the same music as every other album he releases. He’s like an ouroboros of boredom, like a snake eating its own tail. The last, full Drake album to bring anything new was “Honestly, Nevermind” in 2022, and that album was proof enough that Drake doing new things may be the worst thing he can do. Still, giving us 73 minutes of fluff is not a massive improvement.

I’ll give my highlights; I quite liked “Nokia.” It’s a danceable, fun pop jam with some good vocals, and gives the album a much-needed boost of energy. “Gimme a Hug” was alright. It’s a solid, pure-rap track from Drake, with his signature style of beat constructed entirely around soulful background samples. “Die Trying” was kind of bad, but at least had the dignity to be somewhat entertaining to listen to with its weird indie guitar beat, Drake’s buttery autotune, and awful falsetto. That’s about it—three tracks I could find any kind of enjoyment in, while everything else left me feeling empty inside.

Tracks like “Brian Steel,” or “Small Town Fame,” just feel like filler and are mind numbing to me, having such similar drumbeats, vocals, and melodies. It’s like he copy-pasted a song and changed it just enough so it can legally be considered a “new” song.

What about the lyrical content, is it any good? Not really, but there’s more to chew on here. It’s the usual Drake line-up of boring, sexless sex jams and generic raps about heartbreak, the bachelor life, his sexual encounters, and whatever else—with tracks like “Something About You” and “Raining In Houston.” Essentially, it’s the Drake starter kit of lyrical topics. 

The truly fun stuff comes with Drake’s thinly veiled references to the beef with Kendrick. Like when he says “Using you for promotion, truer words had never been spoken,” and “Funny how its only b**** ****** waiting on the boys obituary, cause if I die it’s these ****** that become sole beneficiary,” and especially, “They be droppin s***, but we droppin harder s***, f*** a rap beef I’m tryna get the party lit,” on the track, “Gimme A Hug,” as mentioned above. 

I’ve never witnessed a rapper more bothered by beef while trying to come off as unbothered. It’s painfully obvious that the Kendrick beef has bothered Drake deeply. He literally sued UMG over it, so saying “f*** a rap beef” is clearly a coping method. He makes more references like this in his new album, saying “The hate from this year alone is confusing my love,” on “Raining In Houston.” Or verbatim says, “We not like them baby, they not like us,” on “Celibacy,” which is so audacious, it would almost be commendable if it weren’t so pathetic.

It is extremely ironic that an album titled “$ome $exy $ongs 4 U” is so sexless and unappealing. Drake had that issue for a while now—at least half of “Scorpion” and most of “Certified Lover Boy” were also dedicated to Drake’s sexcapades, and they were just as equally unappealing there, too. He’s just far too dry, and his relationship angst and resentfulness—which at one point was his appeal—has become too cringe-inducing to be enjoyable. It might even be a sign of Kendrick’s dominance in their recent beef, his album being a boisterous and fun West Coast party album, while this is the same, low-key, uninspired, and depressing slog Drake has been putting out forever.

Of course, that’s only talking about Drake’s contribution, because there is in fact a second guy on this album. The issue is that PartyNextDoor doesn’t have anything interesting to go into. He has no history of beef with other artists and can only sing about his romantic and sexual escapades—which are about as interesting as lying in bed silently staring at your dressers. His portion of the album isn’t good but also isn’t bad in a way that’s remotely interesting to talk about. His singular solo track on the album, “Deeper,” is a wonderful show of this. It’s a short track about sex, placed over a generic trap beat and generic vocals. He’s bland and mediocre, and it’s clear he’s a complete afterthought on the album, just providing guest vocals on the other tracks. This isn’t a collab album between PartyNextDoor and Drake; it’s a Drake album that happens to feature PartyNextDoor.

I do think the conversation around Drake as a person somewhat overtakes the conversation around his music, which is because he hasn’t evolved as an artist since 2018. Nothing on this album feels like he’s progressed since his 2018 release, “Scorpion,”  or even progressed since his 2016 release, “Views.” He’s deeply one note, either giving an unmemorable melodic Trap/R&B tune or another bitter rap verse over a decent—but forgettable—soul sample. I think the response to his 2022 release, “Honestly, Nevermind,” scared him a lot. It was his first time in a while trying something new, and it was roundly rejected. Additionally, most people thought his attempts at house music were unbelievably poor, so now he’s afraid to experiment. He’s a hitmaker via blunt force, meaning if he puts 21 songs on an album, surely at least one of them will become a hit.

What are we left with now? A bland, boring collection of tracks that come off as bitter and desperate as the man behind them. “$ome $exy $ongs 4 U” is a pathetic attempt to save face post-beef. But honestly, I don’t even know what Drake could have released after the beef that wouldn’t come off as desperate. Drake is in the truly unenviable position of being unable to make the right move. He brought it on himself and has no one else to blame. He still has his hits, even if Kendrick is running circles around him in that regard. So congrats, Drake. Pop culture may despise you and you’re as repulsive as ever to critics, but at least your new hits might take up a few more Spotify playlists.