Op-ed: Love for sale-Is Valentine’s Day about romance or revenue?

Feb. 14 marks a day filled with chocolates, flowers, gifts, and grand expectations. Stores burst with red hearts, teddy bears, themed candies, and a relentless sea of pink, while social media taunts, “Does he even like you if he hasn’t asked you to be his Valentine yet?”

The moment the clock strikes midnight on Feb. 1–or even earlier–the compulsive commercial machinery of Valentine’s Day kicks into high gear. Stores urge you to spend in exchange for ‘proof’ of affection. Couples attempt to outdo each other to prove whose love is the greatest. And heaven forbid your partner doesn’t splurge on a $100 Costco teddy bear—do they even love you?

The messaging is clear: love is transactional, and you better do your part to prove it. How about a diamond to really show your partner’s worth? As Tiffany & Co. puts it, their heart-shaped jewelry is a “symbol of love… that makes hearts skip a beat.” After all, the bigger the diamond, the greater the love. Single this year? Better treat yourself to a luxurious self-care kit to ease the guilt of ‘missing out’—and don’t forget to grab a diamond while you’re at it. You deserve it, girl.

So who was Saint Valentine, why does his name bring in millions of dollars each year? Did he even like the color pink? 

Although no one can exactly pinpoint who the man was, one theory suggests Saint Valentine was a priest in Rome during the reign of Emperor Claudius II in the 3rd century. The emperor banned marriages of young couples as he believed single soldiers performed better in battle, unburdened by the weight of love and commitment. Valentine, ever the romantic, continued officiating secret marriages for young couples–a rebellion that ultimately led to his downfall. 

According to the legend, the emperor initially took a liking to Valentine, but when the priest tried to convert him to Christianity, the emperor gave him an ultimatum: renounce his faith or face execution. Choosing faith, Valentine was imprisoned for his evangelism and rebellion against the Emperor’s orders. During his time in jail, he healed the jailer’s daughter, restoring her sight in the name of Jesus. Before his execution, he reportedly sent her a note signed, “From your Valentine”–a phrase that inspired the modern tradition of exchanging love letters. Oh, and, no—the color pink in Rome wasn’t associated with love and femininity. We did that to ourselves, centuries later.

Now that we’ve explored the origins of Valentine’s Day cards and love letters, why the chocolate, why the pink, why do Americans spend an average of $20 billion on the holiday each year?

Richard Cadbury, co-owner of the Cadbury chocolate company, began marketing heart-shaped boxes of chocolate in 1861, decorated with flowers, cupid, and the now-iconic pink and red color scheme to ‘celebrate’ the holiday. It didn’t take long for Russell Stover and Milton Hershey to jump on the bandwagon after recognizing its success and commercial potential. Thus, they began the modern tradition of breaking the bank to build a relationship.

As the holiday’s roots in love, defiance, and rebellion have been lost to time and consumerism, we started our own tradition of love, and it’s directly tied to the price tag. Each year we are reminded that love is conditional, and it needs to be purchased. The grander the gift, the greater the love. Valentine’s Day isn’t about being single or partnered; it’s about how much you’re willing to consume. 

This year, instead of folding under the pressure of consumerism and overwhelming department store aisles, take a moment to reflect on the true origins of the holiday—connection, kindness, and healing through love, a love that transcends the material. Whether you’re celebrating a romantic, platonic, or self-love relationship, remember that the holiday is really about thoughtfulness, rather than price tags. Quality time, loving, shared memories, and heartfelt notes can be just as valuable as diamonds. Love is a feeling—not a price tag. 

So, from your Valentine, let’s redefine love this year.